She just told me how to be a real ally. (groan) It’s what I was afraid of.

The woman was recording her podcast from Australia where she’d just immigrated. She was laying on her bed and trying to get her pillow comfortable.  That’s what she was doing when she said this.  It rattled me so completely that I forgot her name.  It’s not an exact quote either.  It’s what I can remember.  But what she said was like

“White people, you can’t be immigrating away from your country because it’s tough.  If you want to be an ally you need to stay there and fix white supremacy.  You’ve gotta do it.“

Oh shit!  Sorry. I meant Holy Shit.

Whoever you are, wise woman, someday I may be able to thank you for the clarity, cause I needed it.  But right now I’m kind of mind-boggled.  Is white supremacy fix-able?  I’m so not clear about that.

But the truth is that something has got to be done about white supremacy – internal and external. Yesterday when my friend Shelley was telling me about the climate change work she and some African American folks in the Delta are doing, it hit me just how much climate change and environmental destruction are the same exploitation as the exploitation Black people face every day.  And poor people, and every other minority.

And peace.  No doubt white supremacy is a huge peace issue.  Based on George Lakoff’s values theory the authoritarian values white supremacy is based on puts Black and Brown people firmly on the bottom in the scale of worthy vs unworthy. And war is deeply baked into authoritarian values.  It has to be there. It requires violence to keep all the “unworthy” obediently in line. Since there really are no unworthy, the resistance to that is baked into being human and people have to fight back.

The first question in my mind is where would we ever start to fix white supremacy? The second question is how would we do it from progressive values?  That would rule out the concentration camps some conspiracy nuts imagined were being built south of town a few years ago.  Supposedly they were for Christians. A woman from Gentry told me concentration camps for Christians was gospel truth, but it turned out to be the new Washington County jail.  Today Q-Anon people have much wilder fantasies. When conservatives come up with these ideas it seems like it often turns out to be what they’re projecting they’d like to do to minorities and liberals.

Wait… the third question might be more productive.  Who’s already doing something that’s fixing white supremacy?  I’ve heard of something like that.  It was called SURJ.  Southern something. I made phone calls with them before the election and their approach was interesting.  I was stumbled through new phone banking technology, and with profound kindness, they kept saying “just keep trying.  We’re building skills for the future.” It moved me deeply.

Oh, here it is.  Showing Up for Racial Justice.  Wow, this photo is pre-covid and makes me miss the old days.

https://www.showingupforracialjustice.org/

What this train of thought is reminding me is that ending white supremacy will be a relational issue. We tried arguing and debating and have proved it doesn’t work.  They love it when we lose Control and  brawl with ‘em.

To me, what that SURJ picture is saying is that there are a lot of white people out there who want to end racism, just like you and me. Maybe we didn’t know before, but now we can’t unknow what we know. Racism is the rule for digging the lowest level of hell, on orders from beings who imagine they’re angels but are really not, and they look a lot like us.

To begin to fix white supremacy I need a plan and a model to follow, and I’m not sure what it might be except that it’s likely based on love or maybe empathy.

I’m not ready to love Donald Trump yet. The idea of finding empathy for the jerk still makes me queasy.  I need an easier starting point.  I have a brother. He’s a good, caring man who was kind enough to not tell me who he voted for. 

This is the way I imagine it could go.  Progressives everywhere find a couple of conservatives they can care for and build friendships strong enough to stand up to inadvertent mentions of Mr. Trump.  Perhaps friendly comments or even discussions about Q-Anon with a neighbor.  I can almost imagine it, but it’s tough.  There’s a gaping chasm between us. 

I suspect that groups like SURJ have an important role to play in my fantasy.  I can’t do this by myself.  I need friends sitting on the floor beside me while I’m trying to figure this out.   Otherwise the blind confusion and foolishness will be too much and I’ll give up.

Reminder to self:  I want a good world for my grandchildren. I want to be a real ally to the people I share this planet with.  And I want to know I did what I could while I was in the world.  White supremacy is getting in the way of all of that.

I’m not at all sure there’s anything I can do that will fix white supremacy, but the wise woman in Australia gave me the job, and I know I have to do what I can.  Sure hope I can find some other people to do it with me.  Holy shit.

3 comments

  1. Try using language that isn’t racist if you want an end to racism. Squealing about “white” this and “white” that keeps the problem firmly entrenched in your mind. The cause of problems doesn’t exist as a racial issue, even if some effects appear along racial lines. You have the same problem as western medicine, treating symptoms. That’s why finding a cure to racial problems seems so elusive. Whatever strategy has come out of the anti-white attitude has only made things worse. I’ve communicated extensively with the Omni leadership about this issue and it’s like it went in one ear and out the other.

    1. That’s so funny Adam. That’s because we disagree with that perspective. What you’re asking is to just stop talking about race and pretend it doesn’t exist. That only works if you absolutely deny whatever issues minority folks tell us are problems. It sounds like you’re saying that if it’s not a problem for white people that it’s not a problem. Is that what you mean?

      1. Not really. There are black people who disagree completely with the notion that racism against blacks is any kind of serious concern in the United States. There’s also a growing problem caused by guilt-tripping racial diversity training, making normal white people aware of the hostility being fomented against them on behalf of black people, often represented by a self-righteous liberal white or Jewish woman. I haven’t seen much effort from progressives, claiming to care about racial injustice, to actually mend the broken relationships with white conservatives who are the very people they claim to be racists. Notice that I said “mend the broken relationships with” not “re-educate.” There’s a lot of propaganda that aims to “re-educate” or brainwash white people to accept the critical race theory narrative of “all white people are racists” or some other blatantly racist sentiments. This type of material will not benefit anyone except for the people who gain power by pitting us against each other. So if you want to have the “difficult conversations” about race or racism with your conservative friends or family, please be aware that the issue isn’t with them and their racism, it’s with who you are to be bringing this up with them. I mean that in all sincerity. One thing I noticed about myself and virtually every other white person making black peoples’ pain, real or imagined, an issue of central importance was that we were using the narrative of black peoples’ pain as a way to get in touch with our own grief when we were too uncomfortable to admit the feelings were about ourselves. Using black people as a proxy in this way creates an exaggerated sense of sympathy for black people, which is not all bad, but it can cloud judgment when it comes to setting boundaries or upholding standards. It becomes easy to lower standards for blacks because we get used to thinking of them as less capable due to the role we assign to them as proxies for our own wounded inner children. I hope this helps.

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